Home remedies for lightening hair? PLEASE HELP!?

Ok... So, my hair has been through the ringer. lol. My hair was a very light brown/ dark blonde color, but I bought these clip-in hair extensions (100% human hair) and they came out REALLY dark! I decided that I was going to color my hair and extensions myself, besides, I had this red tint to my hair that I wanted to get out! I heard that cool color with Ash in it would take out the red, but now my hair has ALOT of GRAY in it and my extensions didn't come out as light as my hair!!! I just want to know how I can get ALL of the red tint out, ALL of the gray tint out, and just get to a pretty light brown color for both my hair and my extensions!?!? I dont have the money right now to get my hair colored professionally so I have to do it myself! PLEASE HELP ME! :(